The Sexiest Man in the World's Five Sexiest Roles: A Ranking.

If you have known me very long at all, as few as ten or fifteen minutes is usually enough to do the trick, I have asked you who you think the sexiest man in the world is, and told you that there is only one correct answer. What is that correct answer, you ask? Who is the sexiest man alive? Jeff Goldblum.

Goldblum? Goldblum. I suppose there is a measure of this that is subjective, but Goldblum's turn as Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park was a formative experience for 7 year old Dave. Even as a child, not yet erotically aware, there was something about the way Goldblum moved, with something like swagger, but more flowing, somewhere between a torero and a danseur. It spoke to a human potentiality that I was only just beginning to understand. Other men can be sexy. But Goldblum owns that corner. So the real question becomes, when is Jeff Goldblum at his sexiest? Which roles really let him shine? Don't worry. I'm here to let you know!

5. Allistair Hennessey, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Allistair Hennessey is a successful oceanographer, a knight in the great nation of Portugal, a smooth talker, and he isn't afraid to tell it like it is (he hits on Eleanor Zissou like it is his last day on Earth). 

4. Zach Nichols, Law and Order: Criminal Intent

When Vincent D'onofrio decided that he wanted to take his foot off the gas as detective Robert Goren, a replacement was required. The solution was to bring in Jeff Goldblum as Zach Nichols, a man of myriad talents and trenchant insights into the human condition. In his premiere episode, Nichols reveals himself to be a professional-grade jazz pianist, and tells his partner that he spent several years living in Tibet. This was Goldblum's second turn as a TV detective. He had previously starred in the ill-fated Raines on NBC (yet another one of NBC's total failures to identify when they had quality product), and he took all of that juice and injected it into one of the better characters to come out of the Law and Order universe.

3. Michael Gold, The Big Chill

Only one scene needs be mentioned, in this otherwise vastly overrated movie, and that is the scene where the entire cast dances in the kitchen to The Temptations "Ain't to Proud to Beg." Just watch Goldblum, who comes in late. The camera is paying more attention to Tom Berenger and Glenn Close, but for a few second we see Goldblum trying to get Meg Tilly to dance with him. She wants nothing to do with it and turns her back to him, and he dances himself out of the kitchen back into the dining room, where he provides background (still dancing) to Berenger complaining about the hypocrisy of their generation. Goldblum, still dancing, slides past him and purrs "I could have told you that a long time ago," and just like that he is out of the scene. Perfection itself.

2. Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park and The Lost World: Jurassic Park

 Just look at the bemused smile on his face in this clip after he says

"it didn't require any discipline to attain it."

Enough said.

1. David Levinson, Independence Day

All that swag.